‘Fake it til you make it.’ We’ve all heard this catchphrase, and we’ve all, at one time or another, made our best attempt to follow it. Some of us are still trying to live out this flawed command – the command that warrants plastered smiles, positive speech, and optimistic thoughts. The phrase that tells us to say no to any real exposure and yes to hiding it all within the painful walls of our heart. The issue I have with this ‘idea’ or ‘philosophy’ is that it stifles our God given freedom and right to feel. It also diminishes the TRUE joy and the TRUE peace that God Himself gives to us. It’s like an artificial sweetener; it tricks us into thinking it is the real deal, but the side affects actually leave us feeling more empty and craving the real thing.
God made us to have feelings; and we see that in our perfect High Priest, Jesus. He is not a religious High Priest, but one who has experienced real suffering, cried real tears, and shed real blood. Jesus, our beautiful example, has never been one for faking it. In fact, we see just the opposite – Jesus was, is and will always be the real deal. He had a real confidence knowing that, no matter what came His way, God had a perfect plan. And, unto death, He trusted that plan.
That’s where I want to be. I want to trust God and His plan for my life and the life of those I love. I desire TRUE peace and TRUE joy that only comes from Him. And, that is why I will never ever fake it. Not because I have some sort of great wisdom on the subject, because, believe me, I’ve partaken in faking it before. I’ve plastered a smile and said that all was well – even though inside I was so overwhelmed with my life. I’ve yelled at my kids the entire way to church then put my best foot forward when walking into the building. And, I’ve gotten mad at my husband over a molehill matter, while extending all the mountain size grace in the world to everybody else. But, I’m so done with that life. My REAL God deserves a REAL child – one who is aware of who she isn’t without Him, but knows who He has made her; one who doesn’t want to do it in her own strength, but leans fully on her Father; one who isn’t closed off and too afraid to be exposed. And, above all, He deserves a child who let’s her Daddy in – no holds barred.
My chains are gone, and I’ve been set free. So, why on earth would I rebuild the walls that Jesus gave His very life to tear down. I’m a real mom who’s experiencing real grief, and I won’t ever apologize for it. My God is bigger than my pain, but he doesn’t ask me to pretend. He wants all of me; the messy, broken, scared and confused me. And, it is the real me that He shall have. For, I am His and He is mine.
‘Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.’ Philippians 3:12