Little Big

Lately the little things have been getting to me. Little reminders, little triggers, little memories. I wonder if I miss the little things most of all. The way he said my name, or put his hand on my shoulder when I was stressed; the way he laughed with food in his mouth – his chin bobbing and head rolling, almost as if he had to catch the food that might potentially leave his mouth; the way he forgot EVERYTHING – keys, cell phone, jacket, books; the way he’d nap on the couch through all the noise we would make; the way he would say just the right thing to encourage me when I was down. The little things.

One of the lessons I’ve learned on this journey is that sometimes the little things matter the most. When a friend sends a card on that really tough day or sends a text that says ‘thinking about you.’ When your husband brings home chocolate or the kids give an unexpected hug. When the youth director at church spends time with your boys or a friend reaches out to your daughter. When you’ve just run out of milk and somebody calls and says, ‘what do you need at the grocery store?’ When a sister in Christ says, ‘let me pray for you.’ When a close friend needs a shopping day just as bad as you do and you’re able to forget that you’re sad for a short time. When a picture or a post on Facebook is posted in memory of your son who you miss terribly. When you’re talking and laughing with a friend and within seconds you’re both in tears. When you’re thought about, prayed for, loved on – it’s not little. It’s big. 
And, most of the time, that’s just it – the little things ARE the big things. 
Just today, I got numerous text messages from friends that were just thinking about me. I got a call from my husband on his lunch break, and we were able to talk about Christiano and pray together. Just an hour ago, I received a letter in the mail from the school that two of my children attend. They wanted to let me know that they prayed specifically for our children and our family.  The letter was heartfelt, and it was signed by each staff member. I cried reading it. We are so loved, and we are so very thankful for the little things that people like you allow God to use you for. Chances are if you’re reading this – you are one of them. I can almost envision Christiano and God just chatting it up about how blessed they are watching it all happen. We are Christiano’s family, but we are all God’s children, and he delights in us loving one another. Thank you for allowing God to use you in the little things that bless us in such a BIG way. 
* It is so funny. After I wrote this blog, I realized that Christiano’s Youth Director, who he loved very much, called him ‘Little Big,’ because, although he is named after my husband and should be ‘little Chris,’ he was much, much bigger. I never realized until now how that went with his personality. Christiano always did little things to show his love and the little things meant so much to him. A box of Frosted Flakes, a card, a kind word, a ride to work, dinner on the table, a listening ear… All of those little things were so big to my boy. 💙

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