A Brothers’ Heart

I don’t know what to do with this pain of not having a brother to talk to and look up to. I sit in school with a smile on my face, but on the inside it hurts. I wish I could go back to the times we spent laughing, playing, fighting, and arguing, just to tell him I love him. I know he knew I loved him and he still does know I love him.
It’s hard to go back and think about the memories I have of him. He was my role model – someone I looked up to and I learned everything from. Over the past weeks I have been broken like a piece of me has been ripped out, and I know it is going to take a while to heal, but it still hurts. On the inside I am scared of having to go my whole life as the (BIG BROTHER). I do not blame God because I know this was not His plan. God’s plan was for man to live forever in peace. I know that there is a war happening and the devil is just trying to take out warriors of God, and Christiano was for sure a warrior. I want to be just like my older brother because he put others before himself. God has given me two dreams about my brother because I prayed that I would have assurance that he was in a better place, and I know for sure he is in God’s hands. 

4 thoughts on “A Brothers’ Heart”

  1. You are a GREAT and AWESOME big brother. I mean you have a knack with kids Brian. And you are a living example, just like Christiano. You just have that peaceful way about you. I love you buddy, think of you every day and pray for you just as much as I think about you. Sydney still thinks Brian's the best and I do too.


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